Hopefully this post can catch you up. Basically my second baby (for whom gender is unknown) is about twenty minutes away from making her grand entrance. And I’ve got no drugs.
Between the last posting and this one I finally got a chance to sit down with Tony and rehash some of this from his point of view. The areas and aspects that faded from my mind (or were never imprinted in the first place) are fresher in his. Go figure–he may have been a bit more open to other stimuli.
The main point he made was about the checking in process. I didn’t remember a thing about it and that’s because there wasn’t anything to remember. With our first birth we had to go through triage (actually twice). This time we were immediately taken into a spacious and homey (private!) birthing room to be monitored and assessed and determined if we/I would be admitted. There was no doubt in my mind we were staying so my brain obviously glossed over this.
12:40pm: I’m in the tub. It’s been an hour of pretty intense labor since I was “7-8 cm”. The nurse, and a time or two the midwife, keeps coming in to check how we are/I am and every time we’re fine.
Tony recalls a conversation that I don’t at all, about what to do when I want to get out and wanting to stay in but feeling like I might want to push. Eventually I get out because it’s time and I’m l
aying laboring in the bed (picture taken at 12:55am). They start bringing all the birthing and babying gadgets in and bustling around (Tony’s memory). I throw up again…and my water breaks (Oh man, I can’t believe when Tony and I were talking about this yesterday we forgot that part!). Last time I had my water broken, somewhat against my will. It was so validating to have it happen on it’s own! WHOOSH 😉
The midwife comes in and says I can push whenever I’m ready. This is where I start to freak out a bit about actual birthing (versus labor) unmedicated. Yeah, I pushed a baby out last time but I didn’t feel it! And, of course, I’m told there’s no going back now. I believe it was something along the lines of “this is what you want.” And that was true.
But it didn’t mean I wasn’t scared out of my mind.
Good thing it wasn’t like I had a choice in the matter. Baby was coming.
I’m scared to push. Everything was just so tight, my stomach and all my abdominal muscles, that I couldn’t imagine what would go where if I were to bear down. The midwife says that’s fine, no hurry. Yeah, no hurry on our ends maybe but New Baby was not up for waiting around! I start to push somewhat.
And it hurts. Not gonna lie. But this is just a handful of minutes before baby is born and before that labor was completely manageable.
I do lose my calm demeanor. I believe something to the effect of “just fucking cut it out” was screamed. With laughter and winks from the peanut gallery. In that moment I was not confident in my decision. I began with a few minutes of I can’ts.
Before I knew it, there was talk of a head. Ignoring the ring of fire (<—really great description there), I went ahead with a big push or two and Daddy delivered his baby. And he told me it was a girl. And I probably asked if he was sure 😉
I was so so so happy. And I said thank God, because we have a house full of princess!
We had a girl’s name 90% picked out. And no for-sure boy’s name. Thus, M&M was born. At 1:15am (about 20 minutes after I got out of the tub). She weighed 7lbs. 3oz. (an ounce bigger than her sister) and was measured at 18 inches but I am certain that was wrong because days later she was almost two inches longer.
M went right up to my chest. And then she nursed.
Now it’s the middle of the night. And we’re jacked up on joy and adrenaline. And I am over-the-moon shocked and elated that I just had a natural birth! And mostly we just want Dot there. But she is at my parents’ house. And sleeping.
We tweeted and Facebooked to the world that our baby was here. That the birth was natural. Even a picture. But we didn’t reveal the gender. Because we talked with Dot and decided that she wanted to know first. And she didn’t want us to call her. She wanted to see. And we honored that.
I think it was one of the most special birthing decisions we made.
It was a long night of holding our tongues, marveling at our newborn and being way too excited to sleep. It was actually kind of interesting to see the “weigh ins” on M’s gender based on image alone.
My parents and sister came to the hospital with Dot early in the morning, like 7-7:30am. Tony opened up M’s diaper for her to check for “a vag or a weinus”.
And it was declared: Vag. Girl. Sister.
And then we told the world.
After that our visitors departed. I felt great. I was up and walking around a like an hour after giving birth. No tearing, no stitches. Only used the little squirter for a couple days. The midwife told me we could go home 12 hours after delivery and we were all set to head out in the early afternoon.
This ended up not actually being the case–thanks to bureaucracy I’m sure. There was off-and-on sleeping sprinkled with phone calls. We didn’t really have or encourage visitors since we were leaving any minute now.
By evening word came down that we could leave as soon as M peed. I knew she had already, but didn’t have the diaper for proof. It ended up that baby had to pee and we had to stay in the hospital twenty-four hours. We brought our new little teddy bear home at 1:45am. That’s how eager we were to get out of there.
And with that, I’m going to add this experience to my series of thanks (25 Things I’m Thankful For). This birth will always be one of the most special moments of my life. I’m so joyed by the whole experience. It was calm; it was happy; it was intimate. It was private, yet widely shared. It brought the silliest little munchkin into our lives and revealed the best big sister I’ve ever seen (that coming from a big sister of three herself). We are so blessed.
Lastly, immediately after this birth I knew that if we ever have another we [life-willing] would have it at home. I did not have to confidence to pursue that before this birth–I would want to be sure I could do it before placing myself, family, and baby in that position. If you look back at the “hurdles” faced this go-round (the drive, exiting the tub, and being allowed to leave the hospital) a home birth would relieve much stress. Not to mention the bills!